


Born With Class

by hitchcock_blonde



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheronica needs to be canon, F/F, F/M, Jughead and Betty are a beautiful cliche, Multi, The Great Gatsby References, Twilight References, Wuthering Heights References, bedroom make-outs are vanilla, like right now, my two favorite and totally opposite ships hanging out, playful bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 08:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10486728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitchcock_blonde/pseuds/hitchcock_blonde
Summary: “Gatsby is Daisy’s soulmate, Veronica. Blind yourself to it all you want.”“Oh, so I’m blind now?”Cheryl sported a smug smirk. “Definitely, if you think that Heathcliff is some sort of romantic hero.”“No,” Jughead hissed, horrified, in Betty’s ear. “No. She didn’t.”“She did,” Betty breathed back with equal revulsion.“Okay, that is different,” Veronica growled. “Heathcliff and Cathy have been friends for their entire lives, and he’s the only one who sees her as she really is!”“He’s also her foster brother!”Veronica just gave Cheryl a pointed glare at that one.“Okay, fine,” Cheryl conceded. “But Heathcliff did not have to hit his head on a tree.”Or: Cheronica and Bughead butt heads over their favorite--and least favorite--literary romances.





	

Jughead had never witnessed a more painful conversation in his life than the one currently unfolding before his eyes.

“She didn’t know it, but he kept pining after her, even after she got married. That’s how much he loved her.”

“That’s not sweet, Cheryl, that’s creepy,” Veronica snapped. “He had an idealized opinion of her, some sort of hero worship, it’s bizarre.”

“It’s not worship if it’s true!”

“Nope. Still worship. Just accurate worship.”

Cheryl glared and folded her arms in a huff. “You can’t deny that Tom didn’t even slightly deserve her!”

“Of course he didn’t! But that doesn’t mean she had to fall into the arms of her creepy stalker, just because said creepy stalker was rich!”

“Gatsby is Daisy’s soulmate, Veronica. Blind yourself to it all you want.”

“Oh, so  _ I’m _ blind now?”

Cheryl sported a smug smirk. “Definitely, if you think that Heathcliff is some sort of romantic hero.”

“No,” Jughead hissed, horrified, in Betty’s ear. “No. She didn’t.”

“She did,” Betty breathed back with equal revulsion.

The two were perched on a bench, watching Riverdale’s infamous power couple go at it over their favorite literary romances. Betty’s arm was around Jughead’s shoulder, her hair tickling his ear as she breathed, her foot swinging gently dangerously close to his leg. She looked so kissable that it took all of Jughead’s willpower to resist.

“Okay, that is  _ different,”  _ Veronica growled. “Heathcliff and Cathy have been friends for their entire lives, and he’s the only one who sees her as she really is!”

“He’s also her foster brother!”

Veronica just gave Cheryl a pointed glare at that one.

“Okay, fine,” Cheryl conceded. “But Heathcliff did not have to hit his head on a tree.”

Betty snorted loudly and leaned her head on Jughead’s shoulder. He could feel her shaking gently with silent laughter.

_ “That’s _ your reasoning?” Veronica pouted, put out.

“It’s one of many ridiculous moments, Veronica,” Cheryl said with the air of a mother hen trying not to hurt her chick’s feelings. “Many.” Her voice perked up again as she noted, “And besides, talk about creepy stalkers, I mean, that guy is the  _ worst. _ She chose someone else, V!”

“So did Daisy choose someone else! And at least Heathcliff knew Catherine really loved him!”

“But Daisy had to marry Tom! Cathy  _ chose _ to marry Linton, but Heathcliff was still delusional enough to imagine he had a chance. Pathetic, if you ask me, and that’s not mentioning the fact that he married Cathy’s sister-in-law and abused her just to prove a point.”

“You don’t think it’s even slightly creepy that Gatsby fell that hard for Daisy after one summer?”

“Love at first sight, V, is a treasured romantic tradition. Unless it’s Romeo and Juliet, it works.”

Jughead and Betty swiveled to stare at one another, their shocked expressions nearly matching.

Veronica nodded. “Okay, yeah, I’ll give you that.”

Betty’s eyes widened even farther in betrayal.

“We can’t trust anyone,” Jughead murmured. “We’re alone in this world.”

She hit him lightly on the arm, but she was smiling. “Shut  _ up.” _

He shot her a lopsided smirk. “Make me.”

Failing to suppress a grin, Betty rounded on Veronica. “I read one about a group of friends,” she began.

Cheryl rolled her eyes and groaned loudly, but at a glare from Veronica, she quieted.

“So there’s this girl, and she’s been crushing on her best friend for, like, forever, and she finally gets up the confidence to tell him, but he rejects her. And of course she’s really upset, but then she starts to realize that this other friend has been there for her the whole time—“

“Ugh,” Veronica moaned. “That’s so cliché.”

“It sounds like Twilight.”

Jughead put his head in his hands.

“Really?” Veronica commented absently. “I thought Twilight was cute.”

“Cute? Seriously, V? Romance shouldn’t be  _ cute.” _

“He watched her sleep!” Veronica cooed with the tone of someone fangirling over their celebrity crush.

“Uh…” Betty looked at Jughead out of the corner of her eye. He was busy hitting his head on his knees. “Well,” she pressed on, “in this one there was this really cute scene, where she was—grounded—and he climbed to her window and referenced Romeo and Juliet, and then—“

“Did they make out?” Cheryl asked interestedly.

Betty’s eyebrows furrowed. “Well—“

“Betty,” Veronica interrupted, “Cut to the chase. Did they end up on the bed?”

_ “What?” _

“If they didn’t, bedroom make-outs are vanilla.”

Jughead looked up, his face bright red, to protest, “What do you people  _ read  _ these days? Fifty Shades of Grey?”

“See?” Cheryl said sweetly. “Even Beanie Boy agrees. Some are born with class, Ronnie, some achieve class, and some people…” She gave Jughead a disdainful glance. “…just don’t have it.”

“So you’re saying I don’t have enough class for you?” Veronica sulked ostentatiously.

“All I’m saying is that we should really take a look through your bookshelf,” Cheryl assured her.

“Mm.” Veronica fluttered her eyelashes. “My house?”

“Of course,” Cheryl demurred. “That’s where your bookshelf is.”

“Get me out of here,” Jughead muttered.

Betty gave him a flirtatious glance. “My house or Archie’s?”

“…just stop.”


End file.
